Hard To Start

I find it hard to start

Despite my rash impatient heart

I sit and stew and won’t pursue

A thing until the day it’s due

Or God forbid its due today

Then why not skip it anyway?

And anyway, I guarantee

Without accountability

To motivate, or guilt to sate

It’s better off left up to fate

And left to fate, I’d do it wrong

I’ve done it that way all along

I’ll criticize and make up lies

So I won’t even recognize

The prize inside, a welcome pride

The knowledge that at least I tried

Immobilized and just too smart

I find it hard to start

Note: I haven’t written a new poem in years. Forcing myself to do this one today was actually really nice. Obviously it’s about struggling to start things, and also a little bit about my ADHD and self-criticism.